See Mama Run

farewell

2010-09-28T18:36:00.000-07:00

I've decided to retire See Mommy. See Mommy Run. If you don't know where to find me online, drop me a note and I'll send you details. I'm here. Just not HERE.

i am...

2010-09-03T09:24:00.000-07:00

...exhausted. I can barely keep my eyes open. Getting through the simple tasks of taking care of the kids (even with 1 now in school) is hard. I'm tired. I can't focus. I feel like I could curl up in bed and sleep for a week. Maybe two. This isn't normal, is it? I mean I get tired but sheer exhaustion, daily, for weeks? I posted on August 20th that I was running on fumes. I still am. And I wonder when the fumes will run out and I just collapse. But I can't collapse. I just can't.

final check-in: down & dirty in 30

2010-09-01T19:21:00.001-07:00

Up .3 for the week. Up 2.3 for the challenge. Apparently I forgot to mention to my body we're supposed to be going in the opposite direction. I could get all crazy negative and beat myself up but I won't. I refuse to do it.

My team on the other hand? They ALL lost pounds - 22.6 to be exact. I'm VERY proud of them! Go Exotic Gangstas!

cutest lunch ever

2010-09-01T18:06:00.000-07:00

This is probably my favorite creation of the week - cause it's so stinkin cute!

mini sausage biscuits, cheddar cheese stars, a bear with pistachios, fruit leather strips and strawberries

kid tested, mother approved

2010-09-01T15:30:00.000-07:00

Pizza Pepperoni Pasta

3 cups uncooked whole wheat spiral pasta
1 lb lean ground turkey
1 medium onion, chopped
2.5 cups garden-style spaghetti sauce
1 can (14.5 oz) diced tomatoes, undrained
1/2 tsp dried basil
1/2 tsp dried oregano
1/2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1/8 tsp pepper
3 TBSP grated Parmesan cheese
4 oz sliced pepperoni (I found that 2 ounces was more than enough for our tastes)
1/2 cup shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese

Cook pasta according to package directions.

Meanwhile, in a large nonstick skillet, cook turkey and onion over medium heat until meat is no longer pink; drain. Stir in the spaghetti sauce, tomatoes, basil, oregano, Worcestershire sauce and pepper; set aside.

Drain pasta. Transfer to a 13x9-inch baking dish coated with cooking spray; sprinkle with Parmesan cheese. Top with spaghetti sauce mixture and pepperoni. Sprinkle with mozzarella cheese.

Cover and bake at 350 for 25-30 minutes or until heated through.

1-1/4 cups = 299 calories, 10 g fat, 5 g fiber (using the full 4 ounces of pepperoni)

Source: Taste of Home Healthy Cooking Magazine - Aug/Sept 2010 Issue

sometimes we just need a reminder

2010-08-31T19:57:00.000-07:00

tomorrow

2010-08-29T17:16:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow my boy starts 1st grade. 1st grade!!! I'm going to miss him so much during the day. While summer is hectic and really takes its toll on me I'll miss his constant chatter and hearing/watching him make his sister giggle.

I am entering this school year prepared with the health of my son at the forefront of my mind. The only thing that changed last year (other than moving half-way across the country) was a solid diet of school lunches and going to Kindergarten all day. He has really gained a good bit of weight in just one year and that concerns me. I did the school lunch deal because I *thought* it was healthy and would be a good option for him. I was wrong. This year I am packing his lunches so that I *know* what's he's eating. I decided that I would share with you because if you're struggling to pack your own child's lunch you might find an idea that you want to use and the more kids that eat healthier lunches the better, right?

Here is tomorrow's lunch. Turkey and cheddar sub, granola bar, strawberries and fried apples (leftover from Cracker Barrel). The bread I used to make this more of a sub and not a sandwich is Arnold Fill 'Ems Sandwich Thins (whole grains, no trans fat, no cholesterol, no high fructose corn syrup, 100 calories and, best of all, they taste good.). The container is a Ziploc divided container.

Compared to his options for school lunches - either a Meatball Sub with Cheese on Roll, Peas, Mixed Fruit, Milk or Chicken Patty on Roll with Lettuce & Mayonnaise, Peas, Mixed Fruit, Milk - I think his meal from home (checking in at around 550 calories) isn't too bad and in my opinion seems far healthier.

What do you do? Send your kids packing or let them buy at school? Any ideas you want to share with me - spill the beans, peeps!

Two sites that have inspired me in my quest to pack healthy lunches for my son are another lunch and Mommy Needs Cake. Please visit them for lots of great ideas! (Not a sponsored post.)

ditching my inner mean girl

2010-08-27T20:30:00.000-07:00

I have decided to join some friends (Tiffany, Brooke, Kim and Beki - that I know of so far) and ditch my inner mean girl.

You know her (thankfully not as well as I do!) - she's the girl that is critical of me, the one who compares herself to everyone else, thinks she needs to be super mom-friend-daughter-sister-wife, and sets unrealistic goals for me in the process. When she does this I feel overwhelmed, frustrated and not good enough. I don't let others treat me so poorly but I let her and it needs to stop.

Starting now (the official 40 Day Inner Mean Girl Cleanse started a few days ago), I am taking control, grabbing her ponytail and tossing her out of my life...or at least putting her in a permanent time out.

Why 40 days? Because 40 days is what it takes to change your habits.

And the habits/lies we're conquering?

Comparison.
Judgment.
Gossip.
Expectations.
Obligations.
Fear-based Media.

Pretty heavy stuff, huh?

I'm actually looking forward to doing this and working on changing these toxic thoughts that are getting in the way of me enjoying my life to its fullest potential.

I'll keep you posted on how it's going!

you capture - outside

2010-08-25T19:57:00.001-07:00

Ummm, I have no idea how many months it's been since I've participated in You Capture. Shame on me. You Capture is fun. Having Beth give us a topic and then doing it - even if it's something we're not sure we can figure out? Plus checking out the awesome photographers there are in the blogosphere and making new friends? Totally fun.

This past week's assignment was to get outside. This one might have been tough because it has been so flippin muggy, humid, hot, etc. BUT the past few days have been gorgeous in Pennsylvania so we got outside.

Pay no attention to the little girl in her underwear. We're potty training. And pants are not an option right now. But no pants doesn't have to equal no fun, right?

What did everyone else do outside this past week? Go find out!

weekly check-in: down & dirty in 30

2010-08-25T18:52:00.001-07:00

Let's see, although I've reported in weekly with my team, my last check-in here was on August 4th. Whoops! Since then I have gained 1.2 pounds. This includes vacation time and a crap load of stress so I'm not too concerned. And this is life. I need to roll with the punches, figure out a plan and do it to the best of my ability.

As I mentioned in my last post I have problems with an all-or-nothing attitude. I need to work on this and am trying. Step 1 in my multi-phase stop with the all-or-nothing attitude plan is to take baby steps. My 1 and only baby step this week is to consume 80-100 ounces of water daily. I have 2 friends that are checking in with me to make sure I've done it (thanks Kristen and Beki!) Today I was successful with 83 ounces. I'm still trying to count my calories and get exercise in but it's not going to consume me. For this week, water will consume me and water only. And already, just knowing that I'm only *focusing* on this one thing makes me feel so much better.

On another note, my favorite post this week is Reality Check by April. It is a must-read for anyone on the weight-loss journey. Please. Go read it. And have a fabulous week!

xoxo

i think the internet is trying to tell me something

2010-08-24T04:00:00.000-07:00

the bad

I have not eaten right. I have not exercised. I have not had enough water. I have not had enough sleep. I am tired, anxious and overwhelmed. My inner child has not been nice to me when she talks to me. Somebody needs to pop her. Maybe I should.

the good

While being seriously stressed out I did not take it out on my kids. I finally registered the 2yo for gymnastics and she starts next week. I also bit the bullet and signed myself up for the Disney 1/2. (Those have been on my to-do list for a while.)

Now what's this about the Internet trying to tell me something?

First, I saw this over at Roni's Weigh: Live the life you want to live. Be the person you want to remember. Make decisions. Make mistakes. If you fall, at least you tried.

Then this, at Operation Beautiful: “Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” (Mark Victor Hansen)

Both of these really spoke to me because I've been sitting here saying things like "you can't do this if you can't get on the treadmill" or "you can't do this with no one to watch the kids". You get the picture. The problem is I'm trying to do it they way I think it SHOULD be done instead of just getting it done. Even if I try it's better than doing nothing at all, right? Right.

As Karena so eloquently put it, "And when my needs are met, I’m much better equipped to meet the needs of everyone that depends on me."

followers

2010-08-23T08:53:00.000-07:00

If you follow via Google Reader, Friend Connect, etc. would you either comment here with your email address or Twitter ID or email me or DM me on Twitter? Gracias.

a good day

2010-08-22T19:54:00.001-07:00

I think it was the meds. My 2 year old has stopped throwing tantrums, hitting, screaming and having complete meltdowns. She's still a little whiny BUT so much better than earlier this week. She told me tonight that her mouth hurts. Molars, maybe? I'm not sure. I guess time will tell, huh?

The husband is still at work (he came home at 5 AM to sleep until 9:30 AM and then headed back to work). As I write this at 10:55 PM he's still there and I have no idea when he's coming home.

Although I still haven't had a break I'm feeling better today. Probably because my daughter is feeling better which alleviates a lot of the extra stress. The kids didn't fight too much, I managed to get bed sheets changed and some laundry done and we even did puzzles and had story time. So I'd say that made for a pretty good day ~~even if my daughter didn't fall asleep until after midnight last night and as I sit here typing this tonight is still awake~~.

running on fumes

2010-08-20T19:09:00.001-07:00

I debated writing this post because I don't need any more negativity in my life. There are those that seem to take everything I blog about literally and as if it was meant for them and it's not the case. I started blogging first to keep family updated on the kids (which I still do) and second because I found it a great way to let off steam, share my heart, etc. It had become therapeutic until the Negative Nellies decided to wiggle their way in to my writing therapy. And now it's not as enjoyable as it had once been which is a shame. This is the reason for so few posts and those posts that I do write tend to be more superficial. Because I'm not sharing the way I used to. Tonight that changes. Because I need to write. If I don't I will cry. And truth be told I'm fresh out of tears.

For the last several weeks I have been running on fumes. Literally. Barely able to move from one task to the next without feeling completely run down and overwhelmed. My husband surprised me with a trip out of town sans kids (to the beach - my favorite place to relax and get away). The weekend was lovely. Conversation was uninterrupted. We stayed up late and slept in (we're both night owls so this was awesome), we went to real places for food (not places that we knew would be child-friendly) and we just re-connected. It had been 7 years - SEVEN YEARS - since we have had a vacation just the 2 of us. 7 years too long.

We came home on Sunday and resumed life as usual. I picked up the kids from my mom's while he stayed home and got some things done (bills, unpacked, etc.). He gets up really early (leaves somewhere around 5:30-6:00 AM...I'm never sure of the exact time because it's so early. And yeah, I'm just then hitting my good snoozing time). He doesn't get home until about 6:00 PM so I'm used to the long days. This week he hasn't gotten home before 8. Last night it was 10. Tonight he came home long enough to eat, shower, change and go back to work. All night. IF he sleeps he'll be sleeping in his office. His office doesn't have a couch so I can't imagine it will be anywhere near comfortable. This is draining on both of us. I feel like we never even had a weekend away because it's been so crazy since we got back.

My 2 year old? Out. Of. Control. At first I thought she was testing her limits and throwing tantrums. Now I'm wondering if it isn't her meds as the doctor had her on Claritin and then Zyrtec for allergies. Several friends suggested it could be the stimulant in those drugs. Her last does was Wednesday night. Two nights ago. I haven't given her any more in an effort to see if it's the meds or her. This week I have put her in more time outs than I care to count, dealt with endless tears, tantrums and lash-outs. Today? After being hit in the leg she threw her sippy cup at me. Right in my face. Then screamed at me when I started crying because SHE thought I was mad at HER. Please, God, let it be the meds and not something else. Because if it's the meds it will eventually stop.

Add to that the fact that we promised the kids a trip to the fair tomorrow (that's the last day of the fair) and that Daddy would ride the ferris wheel with her (she wants to ride it; her brother doesn't). Now Daddy is going to be at work and I'm still taking them but I've been trying to prepare her and make her understand he can't go. And still tonight as I'm putting her to bed I get, "Daddy take me on ferris wheel tomorrow right Mommy?" And I want to cry because that's the one thing she's been looking forward to and he won't be there. And yeah I can take her on the ferris wheel but that was her and Daddy's thing. And it breaks. my. heart.

Other than the weekend away I am unable to do anything but what has to be done - feeding, bathing, clothing and playing with the kids and my work-at-home stuff. There have been no breaks, no downtime, nothing. I realize that so many moms do this solo with husbands that either travel for work or might physically be there but not REALLY be there. And then there are those super-hero single moms that I am forever amazed by. But darn it I miss my husband. My kids miss their dad. And I said something tonight that I only whispered once before. I wish we never moved back home. That's right. I said it. Why? Because the support network we had in Minnesota is still in Minnesota. I have no one that is "close". Yep, my parents and sister are here. My best friend is here. Dave's family is here. But not one of them is closer than an hour. And when you just need a break for an hour who wants to drive an hour each way to get it and end up losing 3 hours? On top of that these people have lives...my dad and mom have a large church that they pastor, my sister has 3 kids of her own, my BFF has a long commute and works out of town, etc etc etc. You get the picture. We're not established here. We have no connections. Yet. And it's hard.

I want/need to start exercising again and while most people would assume that's because of weight loss - for me weight loss is an added benefit of exercise. I do it for my sanity (or at least I used to). It's probably no wonder I'm losing my sanity since I can't get enough alone time to squeeze in 30 minutes/day. At this time it's not even feasible. It's just not. And I hate it. And it makes me sad and angry. And I am literally at my wit's end.

So there it is. Everything that's bottled up inside me and making my chest feel like it's going to explode. Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe it's not as awful as it feels. Listen, I realize it could be worse. At least I have a husband and I have a husband that works hard. My children are beautiful, healthy, and happy (most days). I see that. I know that. I'm just in a rough spot right now and wondering when I'm going to get a refill so that I can stop running on fumes.

training for a cause

2010-08-18T05:00:00.000-07:00

My friend Beki (and fellow teammate for the Shrinking Jeans Down & Dirty in 30 Challenge) is doing an amazing thing right now. She is fundraising for Relay for Life and is working towards her goal of $1,000. She's hosting a health & fitness fair on September 12th and will be running/walking on a treadmill - up to 12 miles and is also raffling prizes online! Check out her blog, see what she is raffling, donate if you can/want to and support a great gal and a terrific cause!

let's talk about you tuesdays

2010-08-17T20:23:00.000-07:00

Jamee at A New Kind of Normal hosts "Let's Talk About You Tuesdays" every week. This is the first chance I've had to jump in. Want to join this week? Just answer these questions. (My answers follow in italics.)

1-What was the last movie you saw in the theater? Would you recommend it? Eclipse. And absolutely. But read the books first. It's much more entertaining that way. Trust me.

2-What was your favorite class in college (or high school)? Anything political science.

3-What would be your dream car? Audi.

4-What has been your longest road trip (must include where you started and where you ended up!)? Starting in NW Minnesota and ending in Maryland.

5-What is your favorite style of jeans? Skinnies? Boot-cut? Boot-cut or boyfriend cut. I cannot do skinny jeans. I just can't.

6-If you were given $500 to spend TODAY, what would you purchase? I'd pay my husband back the money I owe him for Fitbloggin and the Disney 1/2 Marathon registrations. And with what was left I'd WANT to buy a Coach purse but knowing me I'd just spend it on the kiddos.

7-Which do you prefer – milk chocolate or dark chocolate? Milk chocolate. Hands down.

If you decide to answer the questions and link-up please leave me a comment. I'd love to see your answers, too!

i confess...

2010-08-17T19:22:00.000-07:00

...that I had 2 pieces of cheesecake on my weekend vacation (not at the same time...I'm not THAT bad).

...that I thoroughly enjoyed having some alone time with Dave even though I missed the kids like crazy.

...that I'm kinda looking forward to school starting because while I miss my son like crazy during the day it'll be nice to get back into a routine again. We are so off in the summer.

...that the days I have been home this past week I have worked more than I have played with my kids and I feel super guilty about that.

...that when my children were done with their ice cream at DQ today I didn't eat what was left.

...that I'm a little nervous about tomorrow's weigh-in (see cheesecake confession, above).

...that the fact that the right side of my back and hip hurting has me a little concerned (it was the left side I had "fixed").

...that I hate the hours my husband works. During the week he's rarely, if ever, home except to sleep. And I miss him.

...that I haven't exercised at all this past week (unless you count all of the walking on vacation).

summer

2010-08-17T05:00:00.000-07:00

One word. Summer.

laughing so. hard.

2010-08-16T18:49:00.001-07:00

Do you ever see something more than once and every. single. time. it makes you laugh? This image does it for me. EVERY. TIME.

{image linked}

let the half-marathon training begin

2010-08-16T13:40:00.000-07:00

That's right, folks, you heard it first on Twitter because I post everything that's anything there first.

I am officially registered for the Disney 1/2 Marathon on January 8, 2011. At this time, I'm doing the 1/2 and I have friends that are actually doing the full marathon the next day (because they're rock stars!) - Brooke, Christie, Kirsten and Karena. A few more peeps are still in the decision making process but suffice it to say it will be an awesome weekend in Florida!

I will admit, I struggled with the decision to start running again. And yes I can run without actually participating in an event but I did make a commitment to raise the money AND complete the 1/2. The money is raised. I need to finish what I started. Additionally, without a goal to work towards I lack the motivation to actually get my legs out there. I've heard it said by so many people that running is mental. And I'm starting to believe it.

That being said I need some input from my friends. Do I do this on my own and tackle a pre-laid-out plan like this? Do I try contacting a virtual training like Coach Joe from TNT? Or do I hit up my local gym and have a trainer there work with me? My goals are to finish in the allotted time and train without serious injury. Having my back fail on me in May was disheartening, depressing and really a very difficult time for me to get through (mentally and physically). I want to do this right so something like this doesn't happen again. Thoughts?

pssst....

2010-08-16T07:32:00.000-07:00

I'm still here. Took a long weekend at the beach with my husband. Catching up today. Promise I didn't disappear! *grin*

day book journal - august 7th

2010-08-07T18:04:00.000-07:00

I love the idea of posting a weekly Day Book Journal entry (first seen at The Daily Mel). The idea is to post an entry each week giving your readers a brief peek into the blogger's life. I don't know if I'll do it weekly or just this once but it seemed like a fun idea.

Outside my window... it's dark and I hear the crickets singing their good night songs.

I am thinking... that I am really looking forward to getting away for a long weekend with my husband at the end of next week.

I am thankful for... healthy, happy children.

Around the house... I need to hit room # 2 (my son's bedroom) in the grand painting and making the new home ours plan.

I am wearing... a t-shirt, jean shorts and flip-flops.

I am loving... restarting the C25K this week.

I am hoping... that the kids sleep well tonight, and I get to sleep in a little tomorrow.

I am stitching... Are you kidding? This chick doesn't stitch. I can't imagine the damage I'd do if I tried.

I am drooling over... a new laptop bag. I can see it in my mind but I haven't found exactly what I want yet. I love the cute, custom made ones but it's hard to find them to fit my 17" laptop AND have room for my files, too.

I am sorely tempted by... Etsy. I cannot look because then I want to buy. Every. Time.

I am reading... The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson.

On my iPod... all running music. My current fave is Boom Boom Pow by The Black Eyed Peas. Yeah it's so last year but I so still love it.

On my mind... school starting in a few weeks.

On my To Do List... making a final decision regarding the Disney 1/2 Marathon in January.

From my picture journal... my daughter right before heading out to the water park last week. Gah, her cuteness is sometimes too much for me.

weekly check-in: down & dirty in 30

2010-08-04T17:34:00.000-07:00

Today is the first weigh-in for the Down & Dirty Challenge over at the Sisterhood. I am already loving this challenge because not only do I think the name totally rocks, BUT we've been paired up in teams! I am on Team E, also known as Exotic Gangstas, with 5 other ridiculously awesome peeps. We had our official first weigh-in on Sunday and today we are down 6.8 pounds as a team. I am so proud of us! Myself, I'm down 0.5 pound but am good with that.

Things are clicking and I'm trying to get into a groove, so to speak. I started the C25K last night and it was so awesome to be back in the exercise game. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? After 3 months I was totally dreading starting again but I felt that rush of doing something good for me and now I'm looking forward to Day 2 tomorrow.

This is a super quick post and I apologize for that but I have little people to get to bed and to say I'm exhausted is an understatement.

Go visit the check-in post for today, scroll through the comments and give these gals lots of encouragement! They're working hard for it!

i confess

2010-08-03T19:29:00.000-07:00

I don't want to confess, really, because there are these girls I know. They call themselves the Weight Loss Mafia (abbreviated #WLM on Twitter). And, well, they scare me. And they're watching. Always watching. One of 'em? She lives close enough that she could totally drive to my house and knock some sense into me if she wanted to. I'm just sayin...

Ok, they DO scare me but not in a fear for my life sorta way. They are my friends and they CARE. They are my accountability and it truly means the world to me.

So where do I even start?

I decided to try calorie counting on Friday. Friday went well. Until I caved and had ice cream.

Saturday I didn't count at all because we went to a church picnic. Although I did do well and only ate 1 chicken breast and ~~a cookie~~ several cookies.

I went over a little on Sunday and on Monday I hit the magic number. I had the headache from you know where as a result but I did it.

Today was another off day as far as counting but I did try to make better choices. For example, no crappy snacks from the water park I took the kids to. And dinner out was fish with steamed veggies.

I'm not sure if I'll have lost weight tomorrow when I weigh-in seeing as I'm coming off of a 2 week ice cream every evening deal that ended Friday night but I am secretly hoping for at least a half pound. And now that I have my fridge stocked with free foods (read: carrots, peppers, you know healthy snacks), I am confident this next week will be better.

As April told me - I am SO CLOSE. And I am. The difficult part is getting my body through the shock it's currently in as I'm consuming less caffeine, less calories, no white bread, and, in turn, less sugar. This is good for me. I know it is. And while my body may be revolting now it will thank me soon enough. I just have to get there.

I did restart the Couch-to-5K tonight and I felt so good. After almost 3 months since my injury (8/5 will mark 3 months) it was an awesome feeling to get back on the treadmill. And quite honestly, it went really fast. Zero pain.

I drank more water from this past Friday through today than I have probably consumed in the last few weeks total. Really. I was sooo bad with the water intake until now.

And you know what? It feels good to write this. I didn't want to but now that I have I can sit back and say ok I had some rough patches starting but I'm on the right track, I'm doing what I need to do and I WILL be healthy. For me. And for my kids.

before & after

2010-07-30T12:48:00.000-07:00

I've been needing a change. Something not permanent, something fun, something just for me. I decided to try going lighter with my hair. I have always loved it dark red and it fits my personality, eye color, etc., but I wanted to do something out of the ordinary. I took a picture of my daughter in to the stylist (cause her hair is so pretty - see?) and said, "Can you do this?" and "Can I actually wear this color?"

Her answer to both was yes. However, I had a LOT of red in my hair so it's similar to my little girl's but with more reddish tones. What do you like? Red/before? Blonde/after? There is no wrong answer. Unless you tell me to go brunette which is definitely the wrong answer. Because brunette makes me look even paler than I already am.

Just curious to see what my readers/friends think. I probably won't keep it for the long term but it's a nice change for the moment.

confessions, check-in and more

2010-07-29T18:21:00.000-07:00

Wow guys this has been a crazy, busy week. So busy, in fact, that I am still baffled by the fact that it's Thursday night. I can probably count on my fingers the number of hours we've actually been home this week (sleeping time excluded). But *big sigh of relief* starting tomorrow (Friday) it's not as crazy. Which is why I picked Friday to be my "let's try this again" day.

I did weigh-in on Wednesday and was up 1.4. I had a few thought-provoking comments last week (thanks, sisters) and Christie suggested maybe I was bored with Weight Watchers. At first I thought, nah I'm not bored, but after a little more mind-chewing on it I thought ok maybe she's got a point. It's not that Weight Watchers doesn't work. I know it does. When you follow the plan. My problem is my lackadaisical attitude towards it. So I thought - Hey, why not change it up? It's not like I'm 100% devoted to it (as evidenced by my weigh-in) and if something else doesn't work I try something else or even go back to counting Points. That being said, I've decided to try calorie counting. It will still require logging my food but I only have 1 number to deal with (for now) instead of 3. Something I've noticed is Weight Watchers is also all about the fiber and I'm not going to disagree that fiber is good for you but I've noticed, for me, it seems like the more protein something has the more filling it is and the less I want to snack/eat mindlessly.

Speaking of protein, I'm going to totally change topic here, has anyone tried Chobani Greek Yogurt? Oh. My. GOSH. It is the BEST yogurt I have EVER tasted. And the bonus? Zero fat and 14 grams of protein. It. is. awesome. If you like yogurt, that is. It's a little pricier than the other brands. Sale price at my local store was 10 for $10. But definitely worth it.*

Ok, back to my thoughts here (by the way this post has been writing itself in my head all week): Calorie counting is what I'm going to start tomorrow. I have a plan in place and a guide (thanks, April...you are awesome).

Exercise also needs to make its way "back" (get it, my back problems? Ha!) into the picture. My back is doing great and there's really no sense in putting it off. Game plan? 3 days run/walk (Couch-to-5K program) and 2 days strength training. I am working with Team in Training to get rescheduled for another half-marathon and am going to start looking for a local 5K to train for (gotta have a goal, right?).

WATER. Must. drink. water. We all know my crazy addiction to Diet Coke. And I KNOW it's not good for me. New plan = 80-100 ounces of water and 1 Diet Coke only if I meet the water requirement first. (This one scares me.)

So next week when I check in I will visit with you on how it went with calorie counting, exercise and water.

And finally, I need accountability. I was going to request a volunteer to be an accountability partner and I would return the favor - BUT seeing as Shrinking Jeans is starting a new challenge on Sunday and it includes teams, I'll be counting on my teammates to kick me in the butt if necessary.

*Photo courtesy of chobani.com. No one requested or paid me to post my adoration for this yogurt but I would definitely consider promoting these yogurts if contacted. I love 'em that much. Hey, I'm just sayin...

baby got back

2010-07-26T12:55:00.000-07:00

Hey, you know that song by Sir-Mix-A-Lot..."I like big butts and I cannot lie..."? Anyway, the name of the song is Baby Got Back. And while this post has nothing to do with butts, it does have everything to do with my back. And maybe my butt too since the pain was in my butt as well? Hmmm, ok.

I had my follow-up at the pain clinic a week ago tomorrow and opted to try a 2nd shot. It worked, people!!!! I actually had zero numbing down my legs when I left (I did the first time) and by the next day ZERO pain in my back. None, zilch, nada. Amazing. Now I'd like to try cortisone shots in my neck, shoulders and head. Cause my back feels SO GOOD.

You know what this means, right? This means that my slackin self since early May now has to get up off her lazy butt and start exercising again. Crikey.

i love myself. i really do.

2010-07-23T17:40:00.000-07:00

This week's mini challenge at Shrinking Jeans was to find 3 ways to love yourself each day in an effort to stop negative self-talk.

Here's my list from this week...

1. Painted my toenails
2. Took longer than usual showers & showered every day (big accomplishment, yo)
3. Shaved my legs twice
4. Got a manicure
5. Took an extra few minutes and put on makeup (I've been skipping that quite a bit the last few ~~weeks~~ months)
6. Wore perfume
7. Started taking my multi-vitamins again (I had started slacking and they always make me feel better)
8. Only had a few bites of the shared dessert our family had out the other night (instead of gorging myself)
9. Smiled at myself in the mirror more than once
10. Just finished my meal plan for next week so I am prepared to eat right and stay within my Weight Watchers Points range
11. Made a girlfriend date with my BFF to go see a movie this weekend
12. Reminded myself that I am strong and capable of whatever I set my mind to
13. Wore a dress and cute shoes when running errands a few days ago
14. Made time to just sit and relax a little more than usual

Do YOU love yourself? Prove it. Do something nice for you.

shrinking days of summer - finale

2010-07-21T11:23:00.000-07:00

Today marks the end of the Shrinking Days of Summer Challenge over at the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans. This week I am down 0.6 but up 2.0 for the challenge. I'm not beating myself up, I'm not stressing about it, I'm really okay with it. There's always next week and the week after and....well, you get my point. It's a daily commitment. It's a daily choice. Some days I choose to stick to Weight Watchers and count my Points. Other days I don't. And until I make that commitment DAILY, I'm not going to see much change. I'm going to continue to gain and lose the same few pounds. I know this.

The challenge I am having is sticking with it daily. I know I can do it and I know it works (lost 60 lbs on Weight Watchers before). But that was before kids. I also know that I'm struggling with life at the moment and the stresses associated with it. I know I need to take care of me regardless of what hurdles come my way. I say I will and then something is thrown in my path that catches me off guard and I am sidetracked for however long. Any suggestions on how to stop getting distracted and FOCUS?

confessions

2010-07-20T03:00:00.000-07:00

THE BAD:

I am still struggling with feelings of anxiety and being completely overwhelmed. I realize this has a lot to do with the fact that I've been benched since the beginning of May. Plans I made, things I had looked forward to had to be cancelled. I haven't been able to tackle as much of the unpacking at the new house as I wanted to either.

Said feelings of anxiety, frustration, etc. stress other relationships. I tend to pull away from my friends and my spouse and immerse myself in the kids. I realize this isn't ideal but it is what I do.

I have had too much ice cream this week. But hey, what can I say? All the cake was gone.

THE GOOD:

2nd appointment with the pain clinic is today. May get a 2nd shot. We'll see what the doctor says.

The cake is gone.

The playroom is 98% complete (need to touch up where the painters tape took some of the pain around the trim with it).

I've had more water this week than in the past several weeks. I'm proud of myself for that.

And there you have it...this week's confessions.

recipe: fresh strawberry crepes

2010-07-16T17:18:00.000-07:00

We had yummy strawberry crepes for dinner tonight. Breakfast was my plan originally (eggs, etc.) but then I saw Weight Watchers tweet this super easy recipe and I decided to try it instead. You should too. I promise you won't regret it!

And yes, it's listed in desserts but it still made a terrific dinner. Hubs requested bacon as well so we had bacon on the side.

Fresh Strawberry Crepes
POINTS per serving: 3
Servings: 8
Serving Size: 1 crepe
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 32 minutes
Level of Difficulty: Easy

5 large egg whites
1/8 tsp table salt
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
1 cup fat-free skim milk
1 cup all purpose flour
8 sprays cooking spray
1 pound strawberries, hulled and sliced very thin (about 3 cups)
1/4 cup powdered sugar

In a medium bowl, whisk together egg whites, salt, vanilla extract, melted butter, milk and flour until just combined.

Coat and 8- or 9-inch skillet with cooking spray; set over medium heat. When pan is hot, add 1/4 cup of batter and tilt skillet to cover entire bottom of pan with a thin layer of batter. Cook for 2 minutes; flip over. Top with 1/3 cup strawberries; cook for 2 minutes more. Fold crepe over and slide onto a serving plate; cover to keep warm. Repeat with remaining ingredients; sprinkle with sugar.

Devour and enjoy!

shrinking days of summer: week 7

2010-07-14T03:00:00.000-07:00

Umm, wow, it's been a while since I posted weigh-in deets. I've kept it updated in my sidebar but haven't actually blogged about it.

I'll be perfectly honest. I haven't been as successful with this challenge as I had hoped but I also know that I really haven't given it a whole lot of effort. And I know that in order for ME to be successful I need to do the necessary stuff (the stuff that works for me/keeps me on track) - like drink all my water, write down my food, stay within my calories, etc.

This week I'm down 1.0 pound. I'm not sure how with the daily cake servings I've had but I am down and I'm very happy about that. Knowing my body those pesky carbs will grab me on the scale next week.

I've also decided to change my weigh-in days to Tuesday morning so that I'll have time to write my post and schedule it for Wednesdays. I'm really hoping that will work better for me and I will actually do this again weekly (which also keeps me more accountable!). This weigh-in actually took place on Tuesday this week so it's nice to go to bed on Tuesday knowing that this is all taken care of.

Hoping all of my fellow Sisters did well this week! They are an amazing group and lots of support. Love them!

fessin up

2010-07-13T03:00:00.000-07:00

Instead of listing all of my transgressions since my last confessions post let's just go with the last week, shall we?

I have eaten cake every day since Thursday. Every. day.

I have consumed very little water.

I feel sad (although I can't pinpoint one specific reason).

I let people hurt me more than I should. I know I need to let go but sometimes that's easier said than done. Especially when said people end up hurting my children and are too self-absorbed to even see it.

And now for the good things I've done. What? You didn't think I was going to be all down and out, did ya?

The playroom has been painted an amazing blue (Ocean Sigh by Valspar pictured on the walls on this page). And the chalkboard wall is awesome. (Pictures to follow once the room is completely done with wall decals, etc.)

My oldest (the co-sleeper who then slept in a separate bed in our room) is sleeping in his own room all night every night.

My daughter is finally starting to get the potty training thing even though we still have a long way to go.

I got a lot of laundry done on Monday. As in 4 loads, yo.

I have been successfully avoiding that thing I love to do when I'm down (retail therapy). I've been sticking to what we need not necessarily what we want. Except for the playroom table and chairs I got for the kids from Target. And the hand-painted light switch cover, too. But I covered that with my money from my work-at-home part-time gig so I don't feel guilty.

I researched and now have the information to join my local YMCA. I'm waiting until after my doctor's appointment next week before getting a visitor's pass and checking it out; but at least now I have my homework done and I'm ready to go when I get the green light.

And totally off topic for this post: Speaking of the back, I'm still having problems (not as bad as before the first shot but there's still a lot of pain). It'll be interesting to see if the doc wants me to work through it or give me another injection. But hey at least I can actually do normal stuff now (swing my daughter around, dishes, laundry, grocery shopping)! That, in and of itself, makes me very happy.

children

2010-07-10T15:18:00.001-07:00

I originally posted this on my family blog. But since Mel wanted to link it up in her weekend post I thought I'd repost it here on my public blog. Thanks, Mel! Share away!

Our children need US. They need our TIME. They need our ATTENTION. In the end it doesn't matter how many toys they have/had or how much money we spent on them. What matters is our RELATIONSHIP with them. I see it in my own children and I wish other people would see it with the children in their lives. When they're little (like now - mine are 6 and 2), yes they like stuff (heck, I'm 34 and I STILL like stuff). But what makes them smile, what makes their eyes light up, what makes them HAPPY is when I sit on the floor and PLAY with them. When I READ to them. When I push them on a swing or splash in the water with them. When I give them ME. When they're older I hope they remember that. I know that I remember that my parents gave me them. And it's still with me even though the stuff from my childhood isn't (well except the stuff my mom boxed up and has recycled with her grandkids). If you have children in your life step in and be involved before it's too late, they grow up and aren't interested in spending time with you because you weren't interested in investing in them when they were little.

it's not that i don't want to share...

2010-07-09T17:46:00.001-07:00

I realize I have been VERY quiet about my weight-loss journey and everything remotely related. I haven't posted weekly weigh-ins or Tuesday confessions. Yikes! This really isn't on purpose. The move has been taking precedence over everything really. There is so much unpacking left to do. And painting. Lots of painting. But I am finally starting to get into a groove and plan to be back on track with posting and staying caught up starting now.

My son was actually the kick in the rear I needed when he looked at me and said, "Mom, I thought when you got the shot in your back we could start running together." Yes, that is the plan. I'm still having some pain going down my leg but nothing like before. I will see if the doc wants to give me a 2nd shot when I go back on the 20th. For now I'm trying to take it easy but I need to find a local gym in the new town and now that the temps seem to be going down (or is that just Mother Nature playing mean tricks on me?) I do believe family bike rides are in order until I get the thumbs up to start the Couch-to-5K plan again.

recipe: lemon-glazed chicken

2010-07-09T17:32:00.000-07:00

I'm always on the lookout for healthy yet delicious recipes. I don't remember when it was but Cool Running tweeted the link to a recipe for Fiery Lemon-Glazed Chicken. At the time I just sent the link to my email and forgot about it. I realized last night (when cleaning out my inbox) that I actually had everything on hand to make this so I made it for dinner tonight. I did modify it for what I had in my pantry so here's my version.

Lemon-Glazed Chicken
Serves: 4

1/2 cup brown rice bread crumbs
2 garlic cloves, minced
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1 lb boneless skinless chicken breasts
1/4 cup lemon juice
1/4 cup honey (the honey in my cupboard had hardened so I ended up using Lemon Creme Honey for Tea by Republic of Tea)
3-4 shakes Tabasco sauce
1.5 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

In a shallow dish combine the bread crumbs, garlic, salt and pepper and blend together. Dredge both sides of the chicken in the crumb mixture.

In a small bowl combine the lemon juice, honey and Tabasco. Set aside.

In a large non-stick pan heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the chicken, cover and saute until browned on both sides and cooked through, about 10-12 minutes. Remove the chicken from the pan.

Add the lemon and honey glaze to the pan. Cook for 1-2 minutes until the glaze becomes syrupy. Return cooked chicken to pan, flipping the chicken once to coat with the glaze.

Remove from pan and serve.

If you try it let me know. We loved it and will definitely be having it again. The glaze is amazing and it took less than 30 minutes.

hot

2010-07-08T20:07:00.000-07:00

It is so flippin hot on the east coast. Brutal. Stifling. And I'm sure I can come up with a few more adjectives if necessary. Warnings have been issued so the kids have been banned from playing on the new swingset and playing in the kiddie pool until the overwhelming heat subsides a bit. Needless to say they're not too happy about that. They'd much rather be outside. And me? Well let's just say I don't want to leave my house unless it's absolutely necessary.

How's the weather where you are?

hopeful

2010-07-06T07:05:00.000-07:00

Hopeful. This is how I feel this morning. I visited the pain clinic on Monday morning and received my 1st steroid injection in my lower back. I was pretty sore around the injection site but woke up this morning to NO PAIN. After doing some things (like a load of laundry and unloading/reloading the dishwasher) I did experience some discomfort but nothing - nothing - like what I've been dealing with the last few months.

At the moment I'm on restricted activity - meaning no jumping the gun and restarting the 1/2 marathon training - but I can take the kids for walks around the neighborhood and I can start on the treadmill again starting at 5 minutes and working my way up slowly. I return to the doctor on July 20th for a re-eval and possible 2nd injection depending on how I'm doing.

So yes, I'm hopeful. Very hopeful.

grateful

2010-06-29T20:34:00.000-07:00

When I was catching up on blogs tonight in Google Reader (I was behind 277 posts...for real...) I came across this one by Karena at Very Nearly Vegan.

Let me digress here by saying that I really admire Karena. She loves herself, her body, as is. I'm working towards getting to the mindset she's in because I truly think it's amazing and inspiring and, well, I wanna be like that when I grow up. *wink*

Back to where I was going with this...

She posted a gratitude list. How awesome is that? So I decided to post mine too. When I'm overwhelmed and exhausted and the kids are bickering I sometimes forget. I don't like it when I forget because I know that I am truly blessed.

I am grateful for...

healthy children
a hard-working husband
enough money to keep us clothed, fed and housed
a good relationship with my parents
the option to stay home with my kids
friends (my Shrinking Jeans sisters are some of the best friends I have)
the ability to see my children grow and hear them laugh
and so. much. more.

What are YOU grateful for?

pain-free in 2 weeks?

2010-06-21T13:02:00.000-07:00

Possibly. My appointment to get the injection in my lower back is scheduled for Monday, July 5th. Keep me in your prayers. While I'm super excited to finally move past this, I'm a bit nervous too...

no surgery

2010-06-18T16:58:00.001-07:00

I received the best. news. ever. today! NO SURGERY ON MY BACK!!!! This makes me so happy.

Shown on the MRI, it appears that the problem is a bulging disc in the L4-5 area of my lower back. It's hitting my L5 nerve thus causing the pain. Apparently I have short pedicles and not a lot of room to handle any type of bulging disc. He said that if I had long pedicles I probably never would've even realized I had a disc problem. Go figure.

So with that, I should hear from the pain clinic on Monday and they should be able to schedule me within a week for a steroid injection in my lower back. Doc said I'll be sore for a few days but after that I can do normal stuff.

I am beyond thrilled. There's a chance, of course, that this won't work, but at this point there's no nerve damage and it looks like I'll be able to get through this without surgery. The injection should take care of the pain and I can resume exercising and restart training for another 1/2 marathon.

My plan to try and participate in the Disney 1/2 in January? In the doctor's own words? "Completely reasonable."

SQUEEEE!!!!!

shrinking days of summer: week 3

2010-06-16T06:44:00.001-07:00

No change for me this week. I did sign-up for Weight Watchers online again this morning. I'm going to follow the program online until we move at the end of the month. If I'm doing well I'll stick with online. If I'm not really sticking to it and need the additional support (which I very well might - Weight Watchers meetings are terrific for accountability!) then I will find a meeting in July and start going in person. Wish me luck!

biggest summer fear

2010-06-15T18:44:00.000-07:00

My least favorite part of summer? Donning a swimsuit. The mere thought of it makes me shudder. And chasing my children in a swimsuit? Gah. BUT if I'm going to take my kiddos to the pool, play in the sprinkler, etc. a swimsuit is really a summer necessity. I don't have one yet but I need one.

The girls over at Shrinking Jeans are giving away 8 - yes, EIGHT - swimsuits from Lands End! I triple heart Lands End and before this giveaway was actually looking at purchasing a swimsuit from them. (Let's just say the one I purchased from Athleta, mmmmm, notsomuch.) But since there's a real chance I could win one of these from Shrinking Jeans & Lands End, I will be patient (I know, I have a serious problem with patience) and see if I'm a winner after Friday night.

Either way, wanna see the suit I love? This one. And if I actually WIN it and don't have to buy it? I'll post pictures right here on my blog. Oh yes, I will.

On second thought, maybe I'll just buy one...

i choose me

2010-06-15T18:15:00.000-07:00

Since becoming a mom I realize that I tend to put myself last. A lot. This isn't good for me - nor is it good for my family. And you know how the saying goes...

But of course *this mom* IS happy? Why? Because I chose happy, remember? And yes, it's a daily choice to be happy but I will and I do. It's better for me and it's better for my kids.

But you know what I forget to do when it comes to choosing me? Put my health first. (Thanks Heather for the gentle reminder.)

Starting today I choose to protect my skin by wearing sunscreen not only on my face but also on my neck, chest, arms and hands.

I choose to make my health a priority again. It's taken a back seat to too many things. (Oh! Hello there, Weight Watchers, my long lost friend!)

And I choose to love myself and my body at every. single. stage of the game. I only have one body and one life so I WILL make the best of it. (Even when my back is screaming at me.)

How about you? What do YOU choose?

Have you heard of the American Cancer Society's Choose You movement? It's all about making the commitment to live healthy and make early detection a priority through regular health checkups. Click HERE to learn more.

thursday 3 - summer

2010-06-11T11:57:00.001-07:00

What I'm looking forward to this summer (it's tough to limit it to just 3 things, but...)

(1) Not having to rush out the door every morning to make the school drop-off run.
(2) Play dates with my kids and my sister's kids.
(3) Going to the beach. At least once. Even if it's for the day. I love, love, love the ocean and would love nothing more than to immerse my toes in the sand, close my eyes, relax, feel the sun on my face, listen to the waves and smell the saltwater. Yes, I used the word love a lot. But really, the beach? My favorite place to be.

shrinking days of summer: week 2

2010-06-11T11:48:00.000-07:00

I'm up for the 2nd week in a row - 1.6 pounds. Not being able to exercise stinks. MRI results will be in next week. I'd love to get the green light for some activity even if it's light activity. Something is better than nothing. The end.

lawry's taco spice & seasoning

2010-06-10T17:21:00.001-07:00

Whenever I have a recipe that calls for an envelope of taco seasoning mix I always use this instead. It is amazing and so much better for you than those store bought packs.

Lawry's Taco Spice & Seasoning

(Equivalent of 1 oz package of taco seasoning mix. To make a large batch use the measurements in parentheses. Guide is 4 tsp for 1 lb of ground meat.)

1 tsp chili powder (8 tsp)
1 tsp paprika (8 tsp)
3/4 tsp salt (6 tsp)
3/4 tsp dried minced onion (6 tsp)
1/2 tsp cumin (4 tsp)
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper (2 tsp)
1/4 tsp garlic powder (2 tsp)
1/8 tsp oregano (1 tsp)

Combine all ingredients in a small bowl.

To use this for taco meat:
In a large skillet, brown 1 lb ground beef until crumbly; drain fat. Add spice and 2/3 cup water; mix thoroughly. Bring to a boil; reduce heat to low and cook uncovered, 7-10 minutes, stirring occasionally until most of the liquid has cooked off.

I originally found this recipe HERE. It is actually a modification from one of Todd Wilbur’s Top Secret Recipes.

corn bread taco bake

2010-06-10T16:59:00.000-07:00

I love trying new recipes and when I find one that's a keeper (especially when it's super easy and quick to make) I can't NOT share it. This one received a stamp of approval from all 4 of us including the 5 year old who would prefer to stick with the basics of cheeseburgers, pizza, mac 'n cheese, etc. I totally spaced out taking a picture but trust me it's yummy.

Corn Bread Taco Bake
Serves 6

1.5 pounds ground beef
1 can (15-1/4 oz) whole kernel corn, drained*
1 can (8 oz) tomato sauce
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup chopped green pepper
1 envelope taco seasoning*
1 package (8.5 oz) corn bread/muffin mix (I use Jiffy)
1 can (2.8 oz) french-fried onions, divided
1/3 cup shredded cheddar cheese*

Preheat oven to 400.

In a large skillet, cook beef over medium heat until no longer pink; drain. Stir in the corn, tomato sauce, water, green pepper and taco seasoning; mix well. Spoon into a greased 2-qt. baking dish.

Prepare corn bread mix according to package directions for corn bread. Stir in half of the onions. Spread over beef mixture. Bake, uncovered, at 400 for 20 minutes. Sprinkle with cheese and remaining onions. Bake 3-5 minutes longer or until cheese is melted and a toothpick inserted into corn bread layer comes out clean.

*I used frozen corn in lieu of canned. I don't use envelope taco seasoning mixes. I have my own recipe that I prefer to use and will post that separately. And I used a Mexican blend cheese instead of cheddar. I also think I'll up the green peppers to a whole one next time just because I love green peppers and extra veggies is always a good thing!

Recipe is from Taste of Home - the busy family cookbook. Definitely worth picking up a copy.

If you decide to try it let me know what you think!

i am an addict

2010-06-08T17:42:00.000-07:00

I am addicted to sugar, bad carbs (think cake, biscuits, etc.) and caffeine. And I don't know how to stop it. Re-join Weight Watchers so that I am accountable for the number of Points I put in my mouth daily? That's all well and good but truthfully I can work the addiction in to my Daily Points Allowance. I've thought about counting calories as well. Then there's always clean eating and the idea that if a food has multiple ingredients don't eat it = an apple is an apple, an egg is an egg, etc. Truth is I'm not sure what to do. I know if I just pick something and stick to it the weight will come off. And regardless of what direction I take I need to break the addictions.

And there you have it, this week's...

i choose happy

2010-06-04T17:16:00.001-07:00

I realize that for the past month I've really been down. And I know I have every right to be upset, depressed, bummed, mad and disappointed. But just because I have the right to feel that way doesn't mean I have to feel this way nor should I feel like I'm entitled to feel this way. Does that make sense or am I just rambling?

Regardless, I hate pessimism. So why am I being so ridiculously pessimistic? Ok, so I'm hurt. Ok, I couldn't attend the 1/2 marathon I worked so hard for. Yeah, it frustrates me but I can continue to dwell on it and be a big ole grump or I can get over it and move on.

I'm choosing to move on. I'm choosing to be happy. And I'm choosing to be thankful that my injury isn't worse than it is. Cause you know what? I'm still alive (although not kicking - that hurts!), I can see, I can hear, I can speak, I can walk. My children are healthy. My husband is keeping the house up as best as he can while working full-time and coming home to take care of everyone. I have a home and a beautiful family.

I choose happy.

PS: If you catch me being a Debbie Downer, please feel free to give me a quick knock upside the head. Just remind me that I choose happy. Period. And to stop sulking.

the whole story

2010-06-04T12:50:00.000-07:00

Around early May I went out to do my 7 mile walk/run for Team in Training. I only made it a few miles and had to stop because of extreme pain in my hip. From that point forward every time I tried to exercise I couldn't. The pain was unbelievable.

I finally went to my doctor who diagnosed me with sacroiliac strain and/or SI joint sprain with a secondary diagnosis of sciatica. He ordered x-rays and sent me to physical therapy. I followed-up with him yesterday. My x-rays are good (great news) and the physical therapy hasn't helped my pain (not-so-great news). I am scheduled for an MRI on Wednesday evening. Depending on the results of that I will either be referred out to a specialist for for further treatment (cortisone injections or back surgery because he's guessing it's a bulging or herniated disc in my low back) or we start over.

I met my fundraising goal for the 1/2 marathon but I can't physically participate in it (it's this Sunday). My entire team is already in San Diego enjoying the beautiful weather and each other's company and I sit at home in Pennsylvania. The doctor and physical therapist both believed that travel would set back my recovery and I would be miserable trying to travel. I know they are right (because I am in pain 99.9% of the time) but my heart is there this weekend. I worked so hard on the training and the fundraising to not be able to be there at all and that's hugely disappointing to me.

The funds I raised are currently sitting in limbo right now. I have 6 months to recommit to a new event with Team in Training. Regardless of whether or not I participate in another event LLS WILL get the money - no worries there. The thing is I WANT to. I know so many people in my life don't get it. But this is what I was working for and I still want to do it. Depending on the severity of my back problems, I am looking at the Nike Women's 1/2 Marathon in October with Kirsten and her hubby OR the Walt Disney World Marathon Weekend in January 2011 with a few ladies from Shrinking Jeans. (I would be doing the 1/2 there as well - not the full marathon.)

Once I get my MRI and we are able to figure out what's wrong and what treatment course to take I will then be able to decide which event would work out best in terms of being able to get back on track with a training schedule.

Thank you to everyone that supported my journey for Team in Training and LLS. I am still accepting donations on behalf of LLS because unless I am physically not able to do it, I am going to recommit to another event with Team in Training in the near future.

shrinking days of summer: week 1

2010-06-04T12:39:00.000-07:00

I weighed in on time Wednesday morning but am just now getting around to posting. I am up 3.0 pounds. Gah. I know why (injury = no exercise and depression = me eating crap). Now to figure out a game plan and tackle it head on. Just because I can't exercise until my injury is figured out and on the mend doesn't mean I can't take care of myself. And to be perfectly honest, I haven't been taking care of myself. I've let the doom and gloom of being physically broken take over my life. Enough is enough. I'm working on a game plan to get back on track. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated. (Oh and for those not caught up I will be posting an injury update soon.)

don't quit

2010-05-31T16:45:00.000-07:00

There's a poem I love. I have loved it for years. Only now as I'm dealing with my back injury and the disappointment of not only not completing the half-marathon I've trained for but dealing with several weeks of inactivity and not being able to travel to cheer on my teammates, has it come to mean so much more to me.

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

-Author Unknown-

Yes, I've been knocked down. Yes, I'm disappointed. But I won't let this keep me down. I will be able to exercise again and I WILL train for and complete a half-marathon as soon as I have the all-clear from my doctor and physical therapist to start training again.

thursday 3 - you know you've thought about it...

2010-05-31T03:00:00.000-07:00

As you can see, I'm playing catch-up on my Shrinking Jeans posts! The original post from Thea is from a week ago Thursday but I just had to participate cause this one is fun!

So tell me, have you ever though about plastic surgery? I have! I mean, it's highly unlikely I'd ever do it but hey I've thought about it! So here are my top 3 surgical procedures I'd pick if I ever were to do something so wild and crazy.

Number 1 - Tummy Tuck/Lipo. I have always wanted a tummy tuck. Just to get rid of the kangaroo pouch. Cause while Kanga and Roo on Winnie the Pooh are oh-so-cute, my pouch is oh-so-not.

Number 2 - Boob Lift. No I don't want implants. I just don't want 'em sagging to my knees when I'm 80.

Number 3 - Lasik Eye Surgery. Did I even spell that right? I dunno. But out of these 3 this is the most likely candidate for ever happening. Granted the contact lenses I wear now I can sleep in but it would be sooo nice to not have to wear them or glasses ever again!

thursday 3 - if I would have known...

2010-05-30T03:00:00.000-07:00

Ever wish you could go back in time and tell your younger self something? I've thought about it and when Lissa posted it over at the Sisterhood I figured I'd jump in and post mine.

I would tell the 19 year old girl who thought she knew it all that deciding to date a jerk and then eventually marrying him wasn't a wise decision. I would remind her that letting a man hit her is never, under any circumstances acceptable. While she did wise up and get out I wish she would have left sooner - or better yet, listened to her parents and not even dated him to begin with.
I would tell the first time mother in her late 20's that nothing in this world compares to holding that little baby in her arms and to stop and slow down because before you know it he's finishing Kindergarten and turning 6.
I would tell my younger self that she IS worth it, that she always was and to never let anyone else tell her differently.

Of course there are other things I'd tell her like, "Your bangs really don't need to be teased that high!" (Yes, totally stole that one from Lissa but it was me too!), that waiting to work until she graduated high school would've been way more fun than working part-time senior year, and to have spent more time with her little sister. Cause even though I still spend time with her and enjoy it, it's not the same care-free time we had as kids. And I miss it.

a new challenge

2010-05-29T20:17:00.000-07:00

So there's a new challenge over at the Sisterhood - Shrink into Summer. I plan to participate - I'm just a wee bit behind. So this Wednesday I will weigh-in and go from there. I don't expect it to be pretty because my body is not cooperating post-injury and not only am I not allowed to exercise (other than what I do in physical therapy which, let's face it, doesn't count) but I'm also supposed to rest for 2 weeks. Resting is supposed to consist of no cleaning, no cooking, no laundry, no exercise and no standing for any length of time. So basically, with children aged 6 and 2, the doctor and physical therapist want me to do nothing. Ha! I know! Sooo, if I plan on doing any shrinking I best be watching what I put in my mouth, huh?

broken

2010-05-24T14:07:00.000-07:00

I had really hoped my next post would be full of lots of positive goodness. But as far as my injuries are concerned I have nothing positive to report. I canceled last week's Death by Derrick session and have had to put any future ones on hold pending results of my x-rays and physical therapy. Yes, you read it right. X-rays AND physical therapy. Starting tomorrow. The doctor still isn't sure what I did although he's guessing the sacroiliac strain is a result of training for the 1/2 marathon. That being said, he doesn't think I'm going to be well enough physically to actually participate in the 1/2 marathon in a few short weeks. I, on the other hand, am hoping and praying that a week or two of physical therapy will get me well enough to at least walk it. Only time will tell.

As I type this I am feeling...broken, disappointed, overwhelmed and sad. I have been training for this and had my heart set on it. When it went from partially running to walking only I accepted that. Now to physically NOT be able to even walk it? Devastating. Some people may not get why this is so important to me; all I can say is it is.

I keep telling myself that at least I exceeded my fundraising goal of $2,900 and the monies I raised will go towards finding a cure for blood cancers but raising the money was only part of the journey for me. Actually going the full 13.1 miles was the other part and a very important part.

I refuse to let this get me down. Yes, I am sad. But I will get past this. I will go to therapy, I will do what I need to do to get well again and I will heal. It's just getting to the stage where I am well again that will prove difficult for me. I'm impatient and I want to get better yesterday.

21 days? gone.

2010-05-20T16:58:00.000-07:00

The 21 day challenge ended without me realizing it ended. It's just been a rough few weeks. But hey, there's always a new challenge, right? And there's a 1/2 marathon in 2 weeks. And there's a Death by Derrick session in my future (Friday morning, to be exact). I'm not looking forward to that. I haven't been to the gym in *cough* 2 weeks. Granted I have a good excuse - what with the low back strain and sciatica - BUT I still hate feeling like a slacker. Whatevs. I'll get over it. I'm actually walking today without limping and not as sore as I have been. I hope that's a good sign!!!

fessing up

2010-05-18T19:30:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've linked up on the weekly confessions post but here goes:

I'm tired.
I'm injured.
Since said injury I haven't been able to exercise at all (no walking, no running, nothing). Doctor and chiropractor have both diagnosed me with sacroiliac strain and a secondary diagnosis of sciatica. Not really what one wants or needs with only a few weeks before a half marathon, huh?
I'm depressed.
I'm overwhelmed.
And those 21 day goals? Meh. Not so much.

That being said, I am THRILLED to announce that I've reached my fundraising goal for the LLS 1/2 Marathon!!!!

And I'm having lunch with Thea tomorrow.

DOUBLE YAY!

so close

2010-05-16T18:52:00.001-07:00

As of this evening, I am almost at my fundraising goal for the LLS 1/2 Marathon in San Diego as part of Team Shrinking Jeans. I. Am. Amazed. I have things that I want to share (and will share!) but time doesn't permit me to do so tonight. For now I just want to say a huge THANK YOU to every single person that has helped me regardless of the amount. YOU are all awesome and I love you so much.

I only need $62.86 to reach my goal of $2,900.

If you would like to donate, click HERE.

Thank you for believing in me and helping such an important cause!

xoxo

reasons to smile

2010-05-12T19:24:00.000-07:00

I have so many reasons to smile yet some days can't see through the tears to remember them. Tonight, I list only a few of my many reasons to smile. I hope to remember to look at this list when I'm feeling down because really? I am blessed beyond measure. I just don't always remember that.

A roof over my head. So simple to overlook. I have a home, heat and A/C, running water, toilets and showers that work, a fridge and pantry full of food and a warm cozy bed to sleep in. Some people would give anything for just one of these items.
A spouse who doesn't abuse me, helps with kitchen clean-up and kids, works hard so I can stay home with our children and pays our bills on time.
Sight. I can see the sunshine, look at my children smiling and enjoy the beauty of the ~~weeds~~ flowers my children pick for me so often.
I can hear. This one makes me chuckle because there are some days - boy are there some days! - that I'd prefer to block out the noise. But I really am grateful that I can hear my kids laughing, listen to the rain or ocean waves (I love, love, love the beach!) and hear the little voices singing along to whatever music might be playing at any given time.
My friends are awesome. They make me a laugh a lot. And laughter is the best medicine. Need good friends? I can totally hook you up!
I am healthy. Yes I have the occasional cold, I might get a headache and my body has its share of aches and pains. But I am healthy. I can walk. Heck, it kills me, but I can even run.

So tell me, what makes YOU smile?

my schedule

2010-05-10T09:54:00.000-07:00

Remember a few posts back when I was griping about how I couldn't get anything done and needed to find a way to schedule the necessary stuff without compromising my "me time", etc.? Well guess what? I has me a schedule! Woot!

Last night, after a really nice, relaxing Mother's Day (big thank you to my husband for giving me the best gift of all - sleep!) I sat down and figured out my daily schedule. It's somewhat flexbile but should still allow me to get what needs done most days. And right now that's better than what I was getting done - nothing. This has taken quite a weight off of my shoulders.

Next item to tackle that I'm struggling with? Meal planning.

thursday 3 - when i look in the mirror, i like my _______.

2010-05-06T17:34:00.000-07:00

Oh wow. This week's Thursday 3 is a good one! The question is: "When you look in the mirror, what is that you like or love about what you see?"

It is SO EASY to focus on what I don't like, I'll be honest. But there are things I do like. I just don't always see it.

I love my eyes, my smile and, of all things, my toes ~ my eyes because they're the same blue passed down from my dad ~~even though I have little to no eyelashes~~, my smile because it truly is my best feature - I can't be down when I smile, and my toes because they look so stinkin' cute in sandals with a pedicure.

Go look in the mirror. What do you love about YOU?

schedule, what?

2010-05-05T16:36:00.000-07:00

I am having a real problem putting myself on a schedule. I am running around in circles and quite frankly feel like a dog chasing its tail. Nice visual, huh?

Here's what must get done every day:

Feed and bathe my children.
Pick up and drop off my oldest at school.
Take a shower. (Although this has been optional lately.)
Dinner. (Ugh. Why is this so hard?)
Exercise. Not only for my physical and mental health but for my 1/2 marathon in June.
Work. I work for 2 AVON District Managers from home and have stuff I must get done for them on a daily basis.

Stuff that is only getting done when it absolutely must:

Laundry.
Picking up around the house. Don't even get me started on actually cleaning.
Me eating breakfast. I know.
Couple time with my husband. It's been practically non-existent. Not good.

So what do I do? The stuff that must get done isn't always getting done (although no worries my children ARE being taken care of) and it's stressing me out. I've had a migraine almost every day for the last week and a half. It starts as a tension headache and spreads from there. I've seen my chiropractor who has confirmed what's going on but I don't know how to fix it. When I get a migraine I cannot function. At all. This puts me even further behind and makes me stress out even more. See the cycle? I need to put myself on a schedule and stick to it before I lose my mind. Any suggestions on how to start would be greatly appreciated. Because at this point I'm so totally overwhelmed that the only thing I find myself doing is staring at my crazy long to-do list and, well, doing nothing.

the monday project - outside

2010-04-30T20:31:00.001-07:00

This week's Monday Project was to head outside and DO SOMETHING. So on a beautiful day after picking up my 5 year old from school I took the kids to a local military park. My son had a blast. My daughter insisted on hanging out in the carrier since she's still getting over her germs but regardless it was fun. I loved running around with them, looking at some of the monuments and reading a little bit about the history of each one. We didn't stay long - but we got out, got moving and had a great time doing something we normally wouldn't do.

Photos are courtesy of my cell phone. Since it was an impromptu outing please ignore the less-than-stellar quality.

new challenge & a weigh-in

2010-04-30T09:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, the Sisterhood started a new challenge - a revisit of an oldy but goody - 21 Days. The premise behind it is the saying or thought that it takes 21 days to form a new habit. So the goal is to form a new habit or habits over the next 3 weeks.

So here are my goals for the next 3 weeks (I seem to revisit these a lot but I'm trying to form good habits here, people):

64+ ounces of water/day
Eat breakfast. (Why is this one sooo hard for me?)
Stay on track with exercise - specifically my 1/2 marathon training. It's June 6th. And I MUST beat the sweeper van. Oh and I need to raise more money. Help a girl out, would ya? (Seeing as I still need to raise around $1,680. Yikes!)

And that's really it. These are healthy habits that need to continue throughout my life so I think they're good ones to focus on.

Ok, I missed weigh-in on Wednesday but did weigh-in Thursday morning and I'm down 1.1 pounds this week. I would like to continue to see the scale move in a downward pattern BUT I have promised myself not to stress if it doesn't. Remind me of that if I weigh-in and the scale is up, m'kay? Thanks.

where to start?

2010-04-21T06:58:00.001-07:00

I'm not even sure where to start this post. It will be 2 weeks tomorrow since my last post so maybe bullet format would be best so I can cram everything into one big post and not worry about making sure what I'm writing matches my title. Yes, that's what I'll do.

Today is the final weigh-in for the Spring Fling Challenge over at the Sisterhood. My total loss for the challenge is 2 pounds (up 0.2 this week). The last few weeks I have checked in with my Challenge Team but haven't been keeping up over at the Sisterhood site.
My kids have been sick for the last week and I have since joined them. The oldest was diagnosed with bronchitis and woke up throwing up with an ear ache and sore throat. The toddler has a ferocious cough and has for over a week. Both are going to the doctor in about an hour.
Going through a rough patch with my husband. No I will not detail it on my blog because it is very personal. But we are working through it.
Last Wednesday I had someone stop by my house. My landlord isn't paying his mortgage and the house I'm in is being foreclosed on. Nice.
Started house-hunting this past weekend. I'm tired and my head hurts. Looking at houses is fun but also very stressful. Especially when we just got settled in this house and were planning to rent for at least another year or so.
Closing on Minnesota house is still on schedule for April 30th. YAY!

That would be the last few weeks summarized. I will try to be better about posting. Really. But if I don't someone stop by and drag me out from under the covers of my comfy bed. Cause I totally wanna hide there.

Oh! YES I'm still training for the LLS 1/2 Marathon in June. I still need to raise funds, too! You can help by clicking HERE. Please? Pretty please?

i survived

2010-04-08T08:46:00.000-07:00

I survived my first session with my new favorite guy to hate. I have never had anyone push me that hard. My upper body muscles are so sore and still shaky. It hurts to pick up a 33.8 ounce water bottle, people. I can't imagine how I'm going to feel in the morning. And I don't even want to imagine. I actually told him we needed to start with lighter weights and he was all like, "Oh no, not when you're training with me..." CRAP.

Next Thursday we work on lower body and he officially puts me on a training plan. In the meantime I need to do cardio, cardio, cardio. I'm debating a 2 hour aerobics interval class or a 45 minute cycle class. I'm leaning towards the cycle class so my upper body gets a break from today. We'll see. Bikes are supposed to be reserved ahead of time and I didn't reserve one so I plan to pop in ahead of time and see if there's an available cycle. If not, I guess I'll hit the interval class.

And by the way, have you ever worked out so insanely hard you threw up? Yeah, me neither. Until today. Well, I guess I should look at the bright side - at least I didn't throw up on him. YAY!

thoughts

2010-04-08T03:00:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have one of those a-ha moments? I have them a lot. It's something so insanely obvious that I wonder how I missed it the first however many times? Here, in no particular order:

Walking on the treadmill today I'm walking at my fast pace. My fast pace was the "cool down" pace for the girl next to me. So mentally I start beating myself up. Why??? There's no reason to compare myself to anyone else. I am me. I am unique. And I will do this at my pace - whatever that might be. There's a slogan I love that I initially saw at One More Mile - You Don't Have To Go Fast. You Just Have to Go. I need to focus on ME and not those around me.
I drink too much Diet Coke. Period. I need to allow it as a treat and only after I drink water. I don't feel bloated when I drink water and I actually have more energy. Why can't I seem to remember this?
As Laura mentioned in her weigh-in post (and I'm totally copying her), I am a weight loss faker. It's embarrassing but it's the truth. I make plans. I set goals. And I rarely follow through. This needs to change. Big time.

Why does it take me so long to realize these simple, simple things???

spring fling challenge weigh-in #6

2010-04-07T16:51:00.001-07:00

Although I didn't blog about it last week I did weigh-in and post in my sidebar over there on the left. Week 5 I gained 1.3. This week I'm down 1.4. I have tried to be more conscious of the amount of food I'm putting in my mouth and not eating randomly and when I'm not hungry (which I'm really good at - the eating randomly, that is).

I decided to join a gym. I know. Today was my first day there and because my biggest concern is child care (i.e. will my child stay and have fun?) I was more than a little nervous. Well combine that with the fact that I haven't set foot in a gym in a few years and I had just about talked myself out of going. But I went. And I'm glad I did. My little one thoroughly enjoyed herself, I got a few miles in on the treadmill and am ready to start working this into my daily routine. I have a 9:00 a.m. appointment with a personal trainer who has assured me he'll "whip me into shape" and I'm officially scared. Will someone hold me please?

My friend Lissa takes a muscle work class lovingly called "Death by Barb". I'm totally thinking tomorrow morning's visit will be "Death by Derrick". IF I can move I'll let you know how it went.

This week's goals? Water, water, water. And try not to kill myself at the gym.

training - week 9

2010-04-06T08:58:00.000-07:00

Week 9 of training for the 1/2 marathon has just wrapped up. While most of my teammates were going strong at 8 miles this past weekend, my revised training schedule has me at 4 miles with no inclines. Next week I *finally* move up to 5 miles. (Not that I'm looking forward to 5 miles - I just dislike being on a modified schedule because of my back and hip.) There are a few of us with injuries and on modified schedules but we're sticking it out safely thanks to our awesome Coach Joe, chiropractors and sports doctors!

At this point I still have $2,138.53 to raise (by May 17th). YIKES. That's a lot of money. I actually hesitated with recommitting to the 1/2 marathon but my husband has assured me he KNOWS I can do this - the mileage and the fundraising - and I gotta admit I am so thankful to have a supportive partner throughout this. If it weren't for him and my teammates I wouldn't have gotten this far. I'm sure of it.

I'll be having a rummage sale in early May with 100% of the proceeds going to my fundraising for Team in Training. If you're local and want to donate stuff for it I'll gladly come and take it off of your hands.

And, of course, all monetary donations are gladly accepted! Donate HERE.

happy easter

2010-04-04T20:40:00.001-07:00

to join a gym or not...

2010-04-02T06:00:00.000-07:00

So I've been struggling with the decision of whether or not to join a gym. The biggest issue is time. As my training progresses so does the amount of time I'm working out. What used to be easy to accomplish during nap time isn't as easy. Getting up before my kids is NOT an option so please don't suggest that. I'm not a morning person and I love my sleep as much as I love my caffeine. And that's a lot. I started working out once the kids were in bed but that gave me an insane amount of energy and I couldn't sleep. When I did finally go to sleep I only got a few hours before the children were raring to go and I couldn't function (don't forget: Must. Have. Sleep.).

So I came up with this brilliant idea - join a gym and change my routine to this: wake up, breakfast, kids ready, take 5 year old to school, 2 year old and I to gym, her in child care - me work out and then shower, run any necessary errands, back home until time to pick up 5 year old from school.

If I don't join a gym I will have to continue to squeeze workouts into nap time or post bed time (which is also the time I "work"). So I feel like my only option IS to join a gym. So why am I typing this and asking if I should join a gym or not? I just totally answered my own question.

it's official

2010-04-01T17:56:00.000-07:00

I have officially recommitted to the LLS 1/2 Marathon in June and I have until May 17th to raise an additional $2,200. You know, I thought the physical training would be the hardest and while it IS physically challenging (oh my WORD it's a challenge), the fundraising is harder. Much harder. People you think would be willing to help don't even acknowledge your efforts. People you hardly talk to or know from way back when go above and beyond. It's strange. I'm honestly not sure how I'm going to get to my goal but I'm gonna bust my butt trying. And hope that the efforts I make to raise money for this cause save at least one life if not more...

the monday project - fill in the blank

2010-03-26T06:00:00.000-07:00

Ok, peeps, it's been several weeks since I participated in one of these. Since I'm trying to get back on track in all aspects of my life, I decided to tackle this week's Monday Project - Fill In The Blank.

I am active because it truly makes me feel better, improves my mood, and I know that I am doing something good for my body and I am showing my children (by example) that being active is a good thing. No couch potatoes allowed.

That pretty much sums up why I've chosen to start running (although right now it's really a fast walk/slow run). It was reaffirmed for me the other morning when I was taking my son to school and I said, "I'm sorry I was crabby this morning." His reply? "That's ok, Mom. Maybe you should get on the treadmill when you get home."

Whaaaa???? Yes, my 5 year old knew that my getting on the treadmill would make his mom a happier person. We chatted about that a little more and it made me smile on the inside AND outside. How nice to hear that affirmation from my kiddo.

pilates

2010-03-24T16:52:00.000-07:00

Update: I have found my DVD's! Yay!

I have been looking high and low for my Pilates DVDs so I could start tonight. I can't find them. As a matter of fact I don't recall seeing them since the move. Now what to do? I hate to buy another one when I know I have a few around here somewhere. But in case I do, anyone have a favorite or recommendation(s) for me???

spring fling challenge weigh-in #4

2010-03-24T08:07:00.000-07:00

I was expecting this week's gain of 0.9. Having been out of commission with my back and generally feeling "blah" I haven't been focused on my goals. I fixed that yesterday thanks to the help of some awesome sisters. I'll be down next week. No worries.

success

2010-03-23T19:46:00.000-07:00

Success is different for each person. For me, success was stepping on the treadmill tonight after my back/hip problems and completing 3 miles. Yes, the little voice in my head kept telling me, "...but if you hadn't hurt yourself you would be doing 6 or more miles by now." But the thing is I DID hurt myself and I can't change that. All I can do is move forward.

Success is coming back to weigh-in on the weeks I know I didn't do what I should've done to be healthier and more active. I could easily whoops! forget my weigh-in but I won't. It pops up as a reminder on my computer every Wednesday morning. It's literally impossible to forget.

I'm reading Jeff Galloway's Book on Running (copy courtesy of a giveaway I won over at Shrinking Jeans). Something in this book really struck me..."...'success' is in the eye of the performer. There can be success in every experience...you can string together a series of internal victories that form a pattern of progress." This is exactly what I'm doing. Continuing to push myself to be more active, continuing to weigh-in each week, continuing to make healthy choices (not just for me but as an example to my children) - these are ALL successes. It's all a matter of perspective.

How do YOU define success?

back on track - 3 miles

2010-03-23T19:36:00.000-07:00

Thanks to those of you that sent notes to tell me to stop being lazy, get off my butt and just do it. Tonight was my first official post-injury treadmill jaunt of 3 miles and I feel so good having done it.

Tomorrow I get a break with Pilates - if Pilates is even really a break? - before putting another 3 miles in on Thursday. This is good. I was so worried that taking time off to recover would seriously derail me but it was all in my head (go figure). Yes, I have to play catch up. But I will catch up. And I will cross the finish line in San Diego.

losing momentum

2010-03-22T16:10:00.000-07:00

I was given the go-ahead by the chiropractor and Coach Joe to resume my 1/2 marathon training. I squealed, I jumped around, I was so happy that I could get back on track. Problem? I haven't been able to do it. It's like mentally I can't get my butt on the treadmill or out the door. I don't know how to fix this. Coach Joe wants me alternating 3 miles with Pilates - so 3 miles Monday, Pilates Tuesday, 3 miles Wednesday, etc. to get myself back in the game. This is totally reasonable and doable. Why am I dragging my feet? Why am I acting like, "Meh. Whatever..." when I know what I need to do and want to do. Any suggestions on how to fix this? I know - Just Do It. Any volunteers out there to get all Jillian Michaels on my butt and make me check in with you and harass me until I do? Please? I'm not sure how else I can get it done. (Can't use the husband. He's a big softy. *wink*)

oh my achin' back

2010-03-18T06:22:00.000-07:00

Well, not really. I mean I'm still hurting but it's more of an uncomfortable annoying feeling than actual pain. I have discovered that while running isn't an option at the moment I CAN walk and when I do I feel MUCH better. The chiropractor said I am healing and on the upswing but I still need to take it easy. He wants me to ease back into my training for the 1/2 in June but doesn't foresee me being unable to do it - even with this setback. This is such good news!!! I'm working with my Virtual Team in Training Coach to get me back on track. Yippee!

And may I just add that I FINALLY had the opportunity to walk outside this year? And oh. my. goodness. I don't ever want to walk on the treadmill again. For real.

spring fling challenge weigh-in #3

2010-03-17T20:19:00.000-07:00

*happy dance* Down 3 weeks in a row! This week's loss? 0.1. Yes, I realize it's only a tenth of a pound and really that's, well, NOTHING, but that's ok because I didn't do much this week in the way of activity. With the back problems I had to lay low so I was hoping for maintenance this past week.

I do have an update on my back woes and will share them when I have more than 3 minutes to type out a blog post. But I will spill that it IS good news.

How'd everyone else do? Head over to Shrinking Jeans to find out.

team shrinking jeans bash

2010-03-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

For the next 2 weeks over at the Sisterhood, we are having a Team Shrinking Jeans Bash! What is this Bash I speak of, you might be asking? It's a HUGE party with door prizes and an awesome Grand Prize of $400 cash! Yes, cash!

What is Team Shrinking Jeans anyway? Well, a group of 16 Sisters and 1 Brother are training to run the San Diego Rock N Roll 1/2 Marathon through the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's (LLS) Team in Training Program (TNT). Through TNT, Team Shrinking Jeans will be training for the race AND raising $48,900 for LLS. Isn't that amazing?

You can read more about our amazing team here, and find out why each of us is doing this here.

How can you join the Bash? Simple! Donate to Team Shrinking Jeans through our secure online team fundraising page. For every $5 you donate, you'll be entered to win one of over 30 fabulous door prizes. If you donate $25, not only will you get 5 chances to win door prizes, but you'll also be entered to win the granddaddy of all prizes: CASH!

Did you know?

Every 4 minutes one person is diagnosed with a blood cancer.

An estimated 139,860 people in the United States will be diagnosed with leukemia, lymphoma or myeloma in 2009. New cases of leukemia, Hodgkin and non-Hodgkin lymphoma and myeloma account for 9.5 percent of the 1,479,350 new cancer cases diagnosed in the United States this year*.

Overall incidence rates per 100,000 population for leukemia, lymphoma and myeloma are almost identical for data reported in 2008 and 2009 [(leukemia 12.2, 2009 vs.12.3, 2008); (NHL, 19.5, each year); (Hodgkin lymphoma, 2.8, each year); (myeloma, 5.6, each year)].

Leukemia, lymphoma and myeloma will cause the deaths of an estimated 53,240 people in the United States this year. These blood cancers will account for nearly 9.5 percent of the deaths from cancer in 2009 based on the 562,340 total cancer-related deaths.

Every ten minutes, someone dies from a blood cancer. This statistic represents nearly 146 people each day, or more than six people every hour. Leukemia causes more deaths than any other cancer among children and young adults under the age of 20. In general, the likelihood of dying from most types of leukemia, lymphoma or myeloma decreased from 1996 to 2005 (the most recent data available).

*Facts and statistics from Leukemia, Lymphoma, Myeloma Facts 2009-2010, June 2009.

Those are some pretty eye-opening statistics, huh?

So head on over and join in the Bash! Check out the fabulous prizes, click on over and donate, and be sure to check in every day for Happy Hour!

the treadmill

2010-03-14T17:35:00.000-07:00

So after a week + of doing nothing I hit the treadmill for 30 minutes tonight. My Virtual Team in Training Coach suggested taking it easy and trying to walk to see where I could get. I planned ahead of time to do 30 minutes so that (1) I wouldn't wimp out before then (ha!) and (2) I wouldn't overdo it if I felt ok after the 30 minutes. I'll admit I wanted to stop the entire first 10 minutes and then by the time I got to 30 minutes I thought I could go further but I didn't. Truth is I'm hurting in my lower back. It's not pain, per se, but it is very uncomfortable. I have an email in to my coach to see where I go from here and I follow-up with the chiropractor on Tuesday.

But my biggest frustration? I was actually doing 5 miles. 5 miles is huge for me. And now that I'm "injured" I'm even slower and will have to work my way back up. And, of course, now I'm behind as my awesome teammates just hit the 6 miler this weekend. And, for me, that is just super disappointing.

it's official

2010-03-13T16:10:00.001-08:00

I am now a .com. This site is now available at http://www.see-mama-run.com. YAY!

lower-back pain

2010-03-12T08:02:00.001-08:00

So it's official. I'm in a lot of pain and have had to completely halt my 1/2 Marathon training (until I get the all clear from my chiropractor). This SUCKS. I was finally up to 5 miles (albeit a slow 5 miles) and now I'm at a standstill. I'm worried, stressed and just plain sad. I can't just jump right back in and start at 5 miles when I had to stop for over a week, can I? I'm thinking I should contact the Virtual Team in Training Coach and get his input and possibly a revised training plan. I don't want to quit. I want to raise the money for LLS, run/walk the 13.1 miles and FINISH STRONG. Any suggestions, comments or words of wisdom? I'm at a loss, here...

spring fling challenge weigh-in #2

2010-03-10T06:33:00.001-08:00

*happy dance* Down 2 weeks in a row! This week's loss? 0.7.

I needed to see that this morning. I was worried because I have not stayed on top of my 1/2 Marathon Training over the past week with my trip out of town and subsequent back problems. My back is so out of whack right now that I can't find a comfortable position at all. I head back to the chiropractor in the morning so I'm hoping he'll have me better soon. I need to get back on track with my walking/running so I don't get behind.

How'd everyone else do? Head over to Shrinking Jeans to find out.

GO TEAM C!

quiet

2010-03-08T15:35:00.000-08:00

Sometimes all I need is quiet. I don't get to experience that at home. Given the events of the last few weeks, compounded by some other things that I'm not wishing to detail publicly, I NEEDED quiet. So what did I do with my quiet time? I slept (a lot), read, watched a few movies and shopped. I didn't think about my problems. I made it a point to completely shut everything else (90% of the time) and it was fabulous.

What did I learn during my "quiet time"? (That kinda sounds like I gave myself a time out. Ha!)

No matter how crazy I feel at home, I miss my kids when they're not with me.
I have an amazing husband. From Thursday evening (when I left) to Sunday evening (when I got home) he played Mr. Mom and took a vacation day Friday for me.
I love New York City. It is AMAZING. Prior to the weekend my favorite city was Denver. Yeah, I'm leaning more towards NYC now (no offense to my Colorado-lovin' friends cause Denver ROCKS!).
Sleep is NOT over-rated.
My children truly are my world.
And finally, I love my job. It's the hardest job in the world to parent but truly the most rewarding. Money doesn't compare to the dinosaur hugs (as my son calls them) and kisses galore from children that adore you.

spring fling challenge weigh-in #1

2010-03-03T10:37:00.000-08:00

Today is Weigh-In #1 for the latest challenge at Shrinking Jeans. I am part of Team C - Completely Committed Chicks - and am thrilled to report a loss of 2.3 pounds this week! YAY! How, you ask? Well I'm contributing it to the insane amount of mileage I've started logging (insane for me, anyway) since starting training for the 1/2 Marathon in June. And water. Lots of water.

Curious as to how the other shrinkers are doing? Go show 'em some love this week!

Till next Wednesday...

welcome

2010-03-03T09:06:00.000-08:00

Squeee! My new blog is up and running and I am sooo excited! It might take me a few days to get it completed (adding sidebar info, etc.). But I'm so thrilled that it's ready I wanted to post right away.

Welcome! And don't forget to follow ----->